i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
