is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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