you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
