Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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