This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
