the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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