I love watching others lives come down to our level.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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