i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
