i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
