dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
