can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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