false alarm. still invincible.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
