i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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