I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize