I bet he comes in French.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
