he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize