her vagine was all disorganized.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
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