my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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