I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
two words: eviction party
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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