id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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