omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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