I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I could make wine with my vomit
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
