shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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