If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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