He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
