i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
