i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
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there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
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I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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