Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize