oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
