yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
