she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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