Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
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