hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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