but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
