bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize