My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
