no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
