I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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