I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM VODKA MAN
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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