Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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