We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
