ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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