is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
