My first STD was from a foam party
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
