When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
