She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
