it's too hot outside to masturbate.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
