No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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