I wish I could punch you in the face.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize