Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
