Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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