His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm at about main and main street
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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