Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
