I think im going to throw up on grandma
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Dicks are not precious.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
